Intellectual Child Pillows

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

Miss America IQ Pageant

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Paul Ree

Tamagotchi paralysis.

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Philosopher trading cards.

Assertiveness

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

'Dad, what is peace?'

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

"That' a wonderful picture, sweetheart. You know, maybe we should keep all of this garbage, in case you become a famous artist."

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Look Mom! I'm cat-scanning!

Lost and Profound.

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

"Is it just me, or do these sculptural forms of light and shadow make you think about the ephemeral nature of life, the spirituality of the moment eclipsing our futile quest for cheese?"

'Thoreau had his Walden Pond, C.J. has his water cooler.'