Insurance Clerk Gifts

Medical Insurance Claims Dept. I

Man in insurance office has two work boxes; "HA, HA!" and "HO, HO!"

"You have a pre-existing condition. You're an imbecile."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Useless information"

Obama Healthcare.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

Fragile stamper.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

Healthy Patients Only

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'