Instrument Tinker Gifts

Twisted trumpet.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

Rocking horse

The Hobby Store

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Modern kite for wind energy.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

New music conference

Congratulations on your retirement!

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

Waiting for retirement.

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

'Because of the mess, 'Mr. Potato Salad-Head' never took off.'

Sistine Selfie

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'