Instructional Guide Collector Pillows

How to Read a Book

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

Federal Guidelines

Myrtle and Moby never miss the annual RV migration.

Sir John Barbirolli

(Preschool for Dummies)

'I almost read an instruction manual from cover-to-cover once.'

Here's the college for me! It's totally green. Let's see. I though you wanted warm weather. Look at the brochure. There's no snow in any of the pictures. The school is in Minnesota. Wow! Early signs of global warming. Who knew it hit college brochures first?

I'm forgetting which college is which. Their brochures are all alike. University of. It's always fall or spring. Apply! There's always a multi-cultural group of kids hanging out. There's always a girl in goggles working in a science lab with an ethnic-looking prof. It's reassuring. They all celebrate their diversity in the exact same way! And charge the exact same for it!

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

Health Club Shop. DVD. Books. Do you have a simple guide to better abs? "Tummies for Dummies" would be good for you.

"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."

Originally, Stonehenge was part of a much more ambitious project.

Tour of Cathedrals.

John Herschel

"Maybe if you'd read the instructions then you'd be able to solve it."

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but TV Guides bound in Corinthian leather?'

'Ooops - here it says 'FIRST cross the desert, THEN eat your camel'...'

"How's that computer manual coming along?"

"Spoilsports"

'Son it's time to talk birds and bees; birds and bees have never successfully mated. And that's all you need to know about interspecies sex.'

Safety Guide.

How to make every minute count.

How to smash a guitar.

Flatpack furniture: Invention of men hating feminists.

"I believe you provide free brochures and advice."

'Coitus Interruptus 6 page pull out guide'

Funk Facts: New Year.

Field Guide to the Birds of Cheshire...