Innovative Home Cook Gifts

Pizza, the CD

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Domestic Goddess.

"You do like octopus?"

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Children's Feast.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Party time.

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

How to correctly estimate cooking time

I made you a cake!

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."