Innovative Decorators Pillows

'Okay, you were right -- beanbag thrones are a dumb idea.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Use your imagination.

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"You're welcome."

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Books / Coffee table books

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"The next time we redecorate, how about if I choose the art?"

'It's my main decorating motif.'

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'