Decorative Innovator Pillows

Now Selling: All-these-houses-llok-alike-but-it's-what-you-do-with-them Acres.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'She dressed herself this morning.'

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"Like my new haircut?"

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

Creative family

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

A new meaning in the Roman

"I've upcycled your magazines into an ottoman."

Dog Walker

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

Television company new recruit

"Anyone who laughs at my new haircut will be subjected to immediate termination."

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

"Just imagine this room fully carpeted with multi-level platforms and cubbies."

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

Self Serve Road Repair.

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

"Well, it does make the room look larger."

Husband washes the dishes