Innocent Plagiarist Gifts

"Hey, Federson. Did you hear that someone around here has been stealing everybody's ideas?"

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Child protects planet with umbrella.

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

'I know he followed you home but you can't keep him.'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Wanna see my tadpole collection?'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

He Loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... Hey, this flower is missing a petal!

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

"And God, if it isn't too much trouble, please clean the printhead."

As is often the case, many of the world's great discoveries are accidental.

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

Store front of 'Ace Roofing Co' Has a sign in the window- Our Mind Is Always In The Gutter

"My mom said to tell you she's not home!"

'I was very good today, Lord, but it was just a fluke.'

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

'Let me know when you want me to help you get your rocks off.'

'I hope you'll be able to keep my name out of it.'

"Phew! I'm bushed! I've been up all night helping the removal men clear the front room."

"I think we should start seeing other little kids."

None of my plants do well...but I forgot I had an onion in my refrigerator, and it's sprouting leaves and growing well.

'Mum.' - 'What?' - 'Why are buses so slow?' - 'I don't know, sweetheart.' - 'Is it because poor people are fat?' - 'Gah.'

Some said she exploited her youthful allure...

'Nice essay, Tom, your cut and paste skills are beyond reproach.'

"Free siding for our house? Sure why not!"