Inner Strength Warrior Pillows

Phyllis exercises her demons.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Checkmate!'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Minister Starts at a New Church

"Why are they being so mean to us?"

Arm wrestling champion. (man in wheelchair).

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

'I think it's time for you to start on your cooling-down exercises.'

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

"How come they call these tax returns when I never get any money returned?"

'The Pen Is Mightier...Still.'

"Why do I let everybody walk all over me?'

'Mrs. Zegenzahn, I'm an expert on exorcising demons, devils and poltergeists, but insurance representatives? There's no remedy for that.'

Fighting With Yourself

"I didn't live through a global pandemic just so I could group hug again!"

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

'I don't have a shortage of willpower. I have an excess of fairness.'

'I'm not sure we should get rid of your cellulite -- it may be all that's holding you together.'

Woman throwing away smoking accessories

'I've found this great app. It locates heavier people I can stand next to, making me appear thinner.'

'God, grant me all that I deserve. Amen'

Shame on You.

Hurrah for control pants!

'Hey, most climb over, but whatever works for you.'

Weight lifter straining on toilet

'Unreal - six days and he's stronger than ever - the guy's an absolute camel!'

St Louis and his Army Pray (The History of the Crusades).

What a coincidence! I'm a teacher in an inner-city comprehensive too.