Inner Peace Guru Gifts

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Yoga.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"Showoff"

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Behind the Scenes of Your Wednesday Night Yoga Class

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Guru.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"Make me one with everything!"

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'Let us take a few moments to release the stress from our bodies. In your case it may take a few decades.'

'Have you been working out?'

Wrestling Our Inner Demons

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

Yogi back in 5.

Working from OM.

"That's exactly what I keep telling myself!"

Relax.

'It started out as meditation, but now it's quiet desperation!'

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)