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Interior Monologuist

'It's my inner voice that lacks confidence, not me. It keeps asking, 'Can you hear me now'?'

'Note to Self: don't listen to me or anyone else, just be yourself.'

The voices in Carl's head heard voices too.

Very rarely are we as harsh to colleagues as we are to ourselves.

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

Motorway of the Self

The Tangents talk it over.

"The much ballyhooed era of TV interactivity took a step closer to reality today."

'Darling - have I ever told you how much you love me. . .?'

"I would stop the negative self talk if I wasn't such a worthless, pathetic loser."

"Listen to your inner voice...unless it tells you not to listen to me."

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"Jane's internal monologue is 'Hamlet'."

"Uncommunicative? Have you tried texting him?"

"Welcome to tonight's panel on interfaith humour."

Chat Bot

'Can Kevin's inner demons come out to play?'

Oh, my gosh! You're right! The treasure was buried in here all along!

"So all my split personalities have decided to form a union and go on strike. For the first time in my life there is peace and quiet. The humanist in me says to enjoy it, but the greedy part of me says to send in the scabs and revive the inner dialogues for less pay and benefits."

'Are 3-D, high definition webinars really necessary?'

'How are we supposed to have a constructive dialogue when you keep trying to interrupt me?'

Will like AND comment on every on of your Facebook posts, for food.

"Anyway, during lockdown our Jaxen discovered he doesn't actually have an internal monolgue."

"Why are there hoofprints on the toilet seat?"

A Smiling Man with a Grumpy Inner Child

The Smart Tablet Filter

"I don't consider all my opinions black or white. They're binary."

'Well, he's progressed from an imaginary friend to an imaginary mentor.'

'All I want from them is a simple majority on things.'

"For discussions in social networks you need good arguments. . . For example 'Dirtbag', 'Stalinist', 'Sexist' or 'Nazi'. . ."

Comments: The All-Comments Magazine