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"I would stop the negative self talk if I wasn't such a worthless, pathetic loser."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

This new writer we've got is really working out, dear. I feel reinvigorated! Like someone's breathed new life into me! Why, I feel like anything can happen now! Like we can do things that are out of the ordinary! things we almost never do. I said Not tonight, dear.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Rowing machine on a river.

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

Charles Dickens.

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

One book... One book... One book...

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'