Ink-stained Warrior Gifts

Gannett Layoffs

La Table

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Mod Kwan Doh

I'm color blind, please help.

Fish with Shield

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

Dry Cleaning

Men painting red and white.

Paint fight art!

Man in a tank with several grannies painted on the side

'The Pen Is Mightier...Still.'

"Ah - the hunter-gatherer."

Complaints: 'Yes?'

Martial art painting.

'I can't remember for the life of me why I came upstairs.'

A windscreen wiper on a baseball field

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to get, I'm actually a good hockey player."

"I'm not a slave by profession you know... I'm really a journalist on holidays."

"I told you not to buy a waterbed!"

One Day Derek Received The Mother of All Rejection Slips

Ice hockey player with testicles on his stick.

That was the last of the Celtic villages. From now on, it's the lecture circuit.

"Am I supposed to be breaking in my skates or my feet?"

It's called a wetsuit...Keeps you warm, even in icy-cold water...You should try one...

'Have you been working on your car again?'

Recycle tattoo

'Birthmark? Nope...no pocket protector during the great permanent ink pen leak of '72.'

101 uses of a dead cat: helmet

"C'mon in! Don't worry, I packed a couple bowls of rice."

"Billy, you're nuts. There's nothing wrong with this Hispanic J Mart. In fact, it's just like every other J Mart! They have 30 checkout lanes...but only 2 of 'em are open!"