Injury-prevention Gurus Pillows

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

AI Safety Officer

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

The Hive, Inc. Think safety! 17 days without a honey boo-boo.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Nice park. . .

Beware of Everything

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

Safest Airline in The World

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

"Aaaughhh! Don't play with that!"

The Future of Flight?

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'It's an old work injury.'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

"Not Lick, you fool, lich! It's the heimlich maneuver."