Inherited Influencer Gifts

"Remember, son, when life gives you a lemon, call the attorneys."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

Changing Minds

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Influence this."

Creativity 2.0

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"This is off our first TikTok."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Witches of Instagram

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

Paranoia vs Social Currency.