Inheritance Thinker Gifts

"To my son, Timothy, I leave my inherited genetic heart disorders."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

'And now we come to the sore losers...'

'One day, this will all be your fault.'

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

'...And to spare my relatives the burden of inheritance taxes, I've decided not to give them anything.'

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

Law Offices. Ernie's client left his fortune to his dog, and his cat is contesting the will.

'It seems in the case of the late Little Miss Tuffet, where there's a will there's a whey.'

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

Now I'll read your father's 6th will and testament, which I'm sure you know may change a few more times.

"I wish he had taken it with him...it's all debt!"

"When I'm gone all this will be yours son...but I'll be bankrupt by then so you'll probably get nothing!"