Ingredient Scout T-Shirts

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

Toadstools

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

All Natural Nothing

Honest Vending

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

'Diet considerations.'

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

I've been scouting new locations for the strip. Great. We can certainly use some. Have you found anything exciting so far? Yes. A bench on the other side of the park. It has a trash can in the background.

Secret Family Recipes

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'