Ingredient Inquisitor Pillows

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

Toadstools

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Honest Vending

"Is the MSG local?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

All Natural Nothing

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

The Inexperienced Cook

'Diet considerations.'

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

Eye of Newt Helper

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

Cooking Contest. I hear you can make tempura out of anything. Yep -- Anything you can do, I can do battered!

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Secret Family Recipes

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

Kitchen Consultations