Informal Learner Pillows

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

From what I hear, the Atwood Intuition Tank is coming up with results faster than we are.

"You got a D in English and an E in French, but Swedish isn't a problem?!"

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

Illegal Immigrants

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'My French is not so good.'

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

End school zone. Start unschool zone.

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

I see we have the same summer reading list. ABC.

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

"I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me at all! What bothers me is when other people know I'm wrong."

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."

Education.

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

University students practising arithmetic through betting odds

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'