Inebriation Humor Appreciator Pillows

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Playing Fetch.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

baby sweetcorn...

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Billy. The Kid.

'A cheeky red?'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"All natural snow cones for sale."