Indulgence Inspector T-Shirts

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

Secretive Weigh In.

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

Any time is cake o'clock

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Make your resolutions achievable.

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Chocs away.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

A giant glass of red wine

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'It's a good source of calcium and contains plenty of flabonoids.'

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Mini-cupcakes never solved anything."

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"Wine not?"

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

A triathlon for the lazy and unfit.

Robert Morley