Indifference Appreciator Pillows

National Apathy Society: Come In Or Whatever

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"I hate it when we fight."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Final words on gravestones.

"I speak Latin, you know."

"My kid could do that."

Big business is not evil

'Well this is awkward.'

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

No Action Comics

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

Ego Publishing: 'I'm sorry, but 'Slither A Mile In My Shoes' doesn't make any sense...'

'It's a Sam Shepard play with the usual props - burnt toast, live animals, and a penis or two.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"I just love your use of lying"

'I get a lot of job offers..'

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

Secateurs and non-secateurs

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

Godot Bound And Gagged In A Dark Office

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

Waiting for Dogot

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

Ethelred the Unfinished.

'When I asked for a bottle of house red...'

"Don't get cute with me, counsellor."

Intellectual support animal

'Wow. He looks great for 5!'

"...and this is my better half...!"