Indie Book Enthusiast T-Shirts

Getting rejection notices is worse when you're self-publishing.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

Victor Hugo

Reading my Critics

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Iris Murdoch

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

Jarvis Cocker

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

My Literary Influences

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"