Independence Day Gifts

"O.K., the third of July is out. How about the fourth?"

"Well, it all depends. Where are these huddled masses coming from?"

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

"Are you sure everyone will know we're being ironic?"

Happy Fourth of July!

"Remember, gentlemen, we aren't here just to draft a constitution. We're here to draft the best damned constitution in the world."

4th of July Fireworks

'Really, I'm not scared of fireworks, but I use them as an excuse to run away for a few hours...'

Safe Fireworks

Uncle Sam, Lady Liberty and Lady Justice walk into a bar that is advertising a "Pursuit of Happiness Hour" in its front window.

''Consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which may involve an occasional hot=dog-eating contest."

July 5...payback.

'You call that a firecracker?'

'Why would we need campaign finance legislation? I can't imagine public servants being so unpatriotic as to be influenced by money.'

"Can I borrow a pen?"

"It's the apocalypse!"

"I'm still proud to be an American. Just not proud of all Americans."

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

"Don't look so worried, son...despite what your mother thinks I can grill burgers perfectly fine."

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

"Now, should we add something at the end about how wise we are and therefore nothing in here should ever be changed?"

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

"To the lady in the harbor."

Two men run away from exploding fireworks

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

4th of July

Uncle Sam's Choice: Save The World or Save Your Money

. . . and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from this earth.'

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

"What I don't like is, the 4th of July is a holiday, but we're already out of school!"

'On July 4th, 1776, the founding fathers decided it would be fun to scare the hell out of cats.'

"Mom forbids me to have fireworks. She gave me this cereal instead!"

American Flag for the Statue of Liberty.