Independence Day Gifts

"O.K., the third of July is out. How about the fourth?"

"Well, it all depends. Where are these huddled masses coming from?"

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

"Are you sure everyone will know we're being ironic?"

'Hey! Who got barbecue sauce all over the declaration?'

Happy Fourth of July!

'Really, I'm not scared of fireworks, but I use them as an excuse to run away for a few hours...'

Safe Fireworks

"Remember, gentlemen, we aren't here just to draft a constitution. We're here to draft the best damned constitution in the world."

4th of July Fireworks

"Hmm...Not quite, Betsy, but the stripes are a good start."

''Consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

Uncle Sam, Lady Liberty and Lady Justice walk into a bar that is advertising a "Pursuit of Happiness Hour" in its front window.

'Why would we need campaign finance legislation? I can't imagine public servants being so unpatriotic as to be influenced by money.'

July 5...payback.

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which may involve an occasional hot=dog-eating contest."

'You call that a firecracker?'

"It's the apocalypse!"

"I'm still proud to be an American. Just not proud of all Americans."

"Can I borrow a pen?"

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

"Don't look so worried, son...despite what your mother thinks I can grill burgers perfectly fine."

"Anything else to declare, gentlemen?"

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

4th of July

. . . and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from this earth.'

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

"Mom forbids me to have fireworks. She gave me this cereal instead!"

"What I don't like is, the 4th of July is a holiday, but we're already out of school!"

"To the lady in the harbor."

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

"Now, should we add something at the end about how wise we are and therefore nothing in here should ever be changed?"

Uncle Sam's Choice: Save The World or Save Your Money