Impulse Control Warrior Gifts

"I gotta quit that."

PROBLEM AREAS

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

"It had to go - there were historical links with slavery."

Trees: The most effective way to reduce emissions.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"Tell us something we don't know."

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

'I know I've interviewed for this position last month, but since then I've hired a personal coach. I was thinking maybe a do-over interview.'

'What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?'

Organic farm

"He only made first four installments."

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'Look after your feet, always wear a prophylactic and never travel faster than 300mph on water!' SAGE WORDS FROM SIR DONALD CAMPBELL!

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

'Thanks for coming in. Whoever gets the job will call you next week and let you know our decision.'

"Sealed for your diets protection."

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'? We're at the cinema!'

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

Vote

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

In Case of An Irresistable Urge to Break Something

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

The Nine Circles of Heaven

'I don't know anything about anything, but I'm great at looking stuff up!'

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

'Stupid global warming!'

"I've reduced our carbon footprint and replaced all our bulbs with energy efficient low wattage ones."

"Dad, Dad, the termites have found our food stash!"