Improving Profiles Pillows

'You know, Eno, it's ok if you lie a little on your online dating profile.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

You looked different during our video chat.

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Using a social media app to date

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'He was taller online!'

Your online profile only lists positive things about you. Of course, a "profile" only shows one side of a person.

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

'I saw your profile on Linksin.'

Online Dating

"Your Facebook page said nothing about you being a dung beetle!"

"What other references do you have besides your mother?"

'Your profile said you were tall, dark, and mysterious.'

"I keep changing my profile picture."

Kiss me quik dating service

"Be honest, do you think it's my profile pic holding me back?"

"We did everything we could, but you still look like a geek on your dating profile."

"Right now? I'm putting my reputation on line."

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

"What should I use for our scream name?"

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

'I see by Facebook that you hate burned toast.'

Computer Dating Service: Be Careful What You Wish For!

'Your dating profile was right. You really do know how to show a girl a good time.'

Dreaming of a Hot Rod

Tall, Dark, and Handsome chats with Buxom Blonde.

"Do you want style or comfort?"

"That's his online avatar...the off-line version is over here."