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'You know, Eno, it's ok if you lie a little on your online dating profile.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

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"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'He was taller online!'

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

'I saw your profile on Linksin.'

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

Online Dating

"What other references do you have besides your mother?"

"Right now? I'm putting my reputation on line."

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"I keep changing my profile picture."

"Be honest, do you think it's my profile pic holding me back?"

"We did everything we could, but you still look like a geek on your dating profile."

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'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

'Your dating profile was right. You really do know how to show a girl a good time.'

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Tall, Dark, and Handsome chats with Buxom Blonde.

"Do you want style or comfort?"

'Just tweaking my bio in Wikipedia - what's up with you?'

Profile: Please describe yourself in a few words - A man of many parts...