Impractical Cook Mugs

Man roasting his satay by the sun.

Chez Nous Menu

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Baloneystini

All-Candy Seder.

Picasso

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"Fridge-to-table"

The Bachelor Chef TV Show. First, remove last night's pizza from the fridge. Then eat cold for breakfast. Shoot! 29 minutes left to kill.

Onion Guillotine

"You're doing it wrong."

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

"Rain or shine, me and you can do fondue!" "I'm ready for some yum!"

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

Wife at breakfast: 'We're out of sugar - how about chocolate milk on your cereal?'

"Why are they called freshers when they only eat processed food?"

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

'Great crisps.' 'Yes, they're old cornflakes and salt.'

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

"That's one 50-gallon drum of shampoo, one 50-gallon drum of conditioner, and one leaf-blower. Sign here."

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

Queen Victoria having a barbecue using BBQ sauce

Helen was determined to get rid of her leftovers.

'Now I can see why our son's roommates won't let him cook.'

"It works!"

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"

Barbecue Man

Lockdown sandwiches

"You'll be perfect for this Emeril Lagasse recipe I want to try!"