Impatient Soul Gifts

First, my sons, you must learn patience. Okay, okay, let's get it over with!

"Are you OK hun?"

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

Emily Dickinson at a Cocktail Party: "I;m Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too?"

'You just couldn't wait to try out the new Jet Ski before we got up to the lake, could you?'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

"How much longer with this social distancing thing?"

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

'According to this stop watch I'm not growing up fast enough.'

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

"Stop being stubborn and call the plumber!"

"I handle chatty people for him."

'I'm saying I want to share your pain you selfish bastard.'

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

artist painting portrait

Suicide Is a Rude Way to Interfere With Society Murdering You

"It's OK, girl. I get tired, too."

'Maybe you should try crying on the OUTSIDE....'

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

"You're sad about the wrong things, Albert."

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'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

Crankster - The Site For Anti-Social Networking

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

An exhibition is open for business while an inhibition remains closed.

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

'Thanks for bringing me lunch Rex: It's way too cold for me to come out today...'

No Man is an Island