Impatient Competitor Gifts

'Come on Fernando, can't you wait til after the race?'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"You took your time!" "Better latte than never"

Painter's Duel.

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

'Make no mistake Wetherall, it's a jungle out there.'

Company Performance - Bonus Scheme

'This information is on a need-to-screw-others basis.'

"And yet that's exactly what I'd like to be doing."

artist painting portrait

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

"I hope you don't think that music while I waited soothed me."

"I know you're in there, Miriam...hurry up, I have to go!"

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

That book is out of stock, but if you'd like to order a copy, I can have it here in 8-10 months. Staff

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

'Wouldn't you know it? Just one line is open, and I get stuck behind a stupid glacier!'

'Click.'- 'Faster, damn you!!!'

Internet first

Guilt Day at Shea.

'These home brew kits are great... I reckon they'd taste even better if I were to give them a chance to ferment!'

"All we know is it happened between the hours of 9 A.M. and 4 P.M."

"At the tone, the time will be LATER THAN YOU THINK."

'When do they actually start playing the Baseball?'

Two runners optical illusion

'Are we there yet?'

'Be about three hours.'

Slow. Every @#$% summer.