Impatient Adventurers Pillows

'According to this stop watch I'm not growing up fast enough.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

'Which arrow points to my office?'

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

"There's no limit to what you can do with your life. Just look at me - I'm a chicken who ordered a beer."

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"So, the inevitable sequel."

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"

'Well, we made it.'

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"And so it begins... Now where'd I put my dang glasses..."

"I'm a speaker and I'm lost. Which one of these rooms has the conference/seminar/convention/wedding that I don't remember the name of?"

"The new position not only comes with a bump in salary, but allows me to extend my reach into areas where I'm not qualified."

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

Teaching from Home

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

"I've lost my keys, my wallet and my iPhone! Frankly, I think MINE is the lost generation!"

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'Are we there yet Dad?'

"Tonight? I thought it was tomorrow night."

"Only once! That particular winter morning, it has snowed overnight and the sunrise was so spectacular I was speechless: I forgot to cock-a-doodle-do!"

"I sometimes think he's living on a different planet."

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

'Because it's here and not 29,000 sodding feet up in the Himalayas, that's why!'

"Yes I DO mind being put on hold! I only have a two week life span."

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."