Immigration Policy Nerd Pillows

'Give me you smart, your rich, your educated elite yearning to innovate, the top graduates of your universities. Send these, the landed gentry by jet-plane to me, I lift my cell beside passport counter.'

"Quick! Suspend the Schengen agreement! Close the borders!!"

Schengen

"Good boy."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

'The recession is over, again.'

"Tariffs"

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

Obama visits Mexico

"As I understand, we stop refugees making dangerous journeys to a safe countey and offer them safe passage to a dangerous one..."

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

From Street Walker to Call Girl

Tree of Public Opinion.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Obama's Tribute Hiroshima

"Europe has learned...yeah, this time we don't need a war to destroy ourselves!"

Arrest Them Later

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

EU - Constitution

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

Victim of Sequestration!

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

Massive ICE raids announced

Build the Wall Back Better

'China's on the phone, Mr. President -- they say you're overdrawn.'

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Lettuce referendum: "I voted romaine."

'In response to nasty jokes about his intelligence, the president promised to increase funding for think tanks.'

IRS. Can I check off a dollar to be used against candidates for public office?

UK Home Office - Workers in the inhospitality sector.

'Looks like we've got the best government money can buy.'

Weapons Ban

'Just a minute!'