Immigration Policy Nerd Gifts

'Give me you smart, your rich, your educated elite yearning to innovate, the top graduates of your universities. Send these, the landed gentry by jet-plane to me, I lift my cell beside passport counter.'

"Quick! Suspend the Schengen agreement! Close the borders!!"

Schengen

"Good boy."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Tariffs"

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

Tree of Public Opinion.

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

Obama visits Mexico

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"Europe has learned...yeah, this time we don't need a war to destroy ourselves!"

Obama's Tribute Hiroshima

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

EU - Constitution

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

Massive ICE raids announced

Victim of Sequestration!

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

'China's on the phone, Mr. President -- they say you're overdrawn.'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

UK Home Office - Workers in the inhospitality sector.

'Looks like we've got the best government money can buy.'

Weapons Ban

'In response to nasty jokes about his intelligence, the president promised to increase funding for think tanks.'

Lettuce referendum: "I voted romaine."

'Just a minute!'

Angela Merkel

Uncle Sam Cutting USAID Strings From Fingers