Immigrant Tales Appreciator T-Shirts

"This is your great uncle Lorenzo. He came to this country not speaking one word of English and with only one penny to his name. And in just 20 years, he was completely broke."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

Hot cross buns

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

Ali Baba- Cover Design for Proposed Edition of The Forty Thieves

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Oliver Goldsmith.

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

'You see! What did I tell you about this place?'

"Without the drone we wouldn't have made it on time!"

"I came to this country with nothing but the hair on my back."

"Can you hear me now?"

Cutting Down Trees to Build the Ark

"Pretend you're interested in granddad's old stories and stop calling them reruns."

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Hi! - We hear that this is a 'nation of immigrants,' right?"

The Augean Stables

Zorkens in class learning the three Zs: Zreading, Zriting & Zrithmetic.

"I just barely managed to escape from a tribe of mad cannibals!"

'Now you're older, we think it's time you knew that both your father and I and you are adopted.'

'Actually I was hoping to meet a knight in shining armour!'

"When I was small, all the kids in my family had their own personal jacuzzis."

'Give up smoking? Why?'

Trilby - 'Et maintenant dors, ma mignonne!'

"Okay...I'll hold the ball and you run up and kick it, then you hold the ball and I'll run up and kick it, then I'll hold the ball and..."

Can't that dating service ever get it right?

'Size matters on the Podium.'

Migrant Centre

'They say he was a bit cracked anyway.'