Immigrant Experience Aficionado T-Shirts

"I came to this country with nothing but the hair on my back."

The fate of the emigrant

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

Build the Wall Back Better

Massive ICE raids announced

A Migrating Chicken

'You see! What did I tell you about this place?'

"Gimme a break. Being driven out of Ireland was the best thing that ever happened to you."

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."

'Officials are puzzled why the population has increased so much in the south and west.'

Elsa Alina Murano is president of Texas A&M, one of the country's 10-largest universities. She came to the USA from Cuba when she was barely 2 years old. She obviously started at an early age."

Relaxation of the visa regime.

' Yeah, I can take you that far south, but it'll cost you!'

"What do you hear from Agent X-37, chief?", "He's doing fine, but please use his code name 'Kemosabe.'"

'Hey, Mac, which way is it to Capistrano?'

'Recommend you stay here tonight. Igloo over there just tourist trap.'

"When I was small, all the kids in my family had their own personal jacuzzis."

Pick Your Own Fruit - We're going back to Poland

"The recession mean economic migrants are returning home..."

Court House. A guy I wanted to call to testify about my client's character moved overseas. An expat witness!

November the Alamo.

"This is your great uncle Lorenzo. He came to this country not speaking one word of English and with only one penny to his name. And in just 20 years, he was completely broke."

Let's try to flip this house before we fly back up North.

Bureaucratic immigration procedures

"Okay...I'll hold the ball and you run up and kick it, then you hold the ball and I'll run up and kick it, then I'll hold the ball and..."

Nude Travels/Nude Scanner.

Migrant Centre