Immaturity Embracer Pillows

We are 50 going on 15...

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Ultra-lazy sloth

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Businessman at the deep end.

You Know You're Old When...

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

Starting is the scariest part.

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"Keep it long at the back and big and bushy on top please."

"Sure, I could hold your hand during down markets...but it wouldn't help you learn how to embrace failure."

"YOLO, baby. YOLO."

Fear and Uncertainty

At least you didn't marry him.

"If you aren't adverse to risk, I can put you in an attractive Ponzi scheme."

Salman Rushdie

This Is Your Life

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

'I've been having one long, continuous bad hair day for the past 25 years.'

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

Aging.