Image-conscious Person Gifts

'Do these pants make my butte look big?'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

wattle covers

"Nice haircut."

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Me when by BDD shows up

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Oh great,,, More protesters getting on our case about how the magazine industry creates 'unrealistic standards' for the human body,'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

"Hey, great ab!"

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

Through thick and thin, John always managed to keep a stiff upper lip.

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

'Do you have anything that reeks of power?'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

"Ed was at that awkward in between stage of letting his hair grow out." "C'mon. C'mon. C'mon..."

"This will maintain your rebellious image in states with helmet laws."

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

'No, your eyes are perfect, but fake glasses would sure make you look smarter.'

Natalie contemplates Natalie attired....