Image Conscious Executive Gifts

"You're darn right I'm angry: my reputation has been ruined by my behavior."

wattle covers

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Me when by BDD shows up

Still looking for your inner-grown-up, Harold?

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

Through thick and thin, John always managed to keep a stiff upper lip.

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

'Do you have anything that reeks of power?'

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

"This will maintain your rebellious image in states with helmet laws."

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

'But RG, you can't be a big fish in all the big ponds...you can only be a big fish in your big pond.'

Man deciding which hat to wear

'Do these pants make my butte look big?'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you - does this suit make me look fat?"

'No, your eyes are perfect, but fake glasses would sure make you look smarter.'

Hairstyles to hide big ears

I suggest you get a new chairman.

"Go forth and get me a PR consultant."

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.

"And this is what the tattoo you've chosen will look like in thirty years."

"Will they hate me if I talk?"

"Why speculate? Get your info straight from the source!"

"Would a beard make me look more academic?"

New Year's Resolutions...1 Don't abuse my position at the center of the Financial System to make jaw dropping amounts of money while dragging the economy to the edge of the abyss and ruining the lives of thousands of innocent people 2. Lose weight

Let's be honest here, and admit we're targeting the stupid-with-their-money demographic.

'It's odd, that while I no longer fear death, I continue to fear pants that make my butt look too round.'