Image-conscious Individuals Pillows

"Why speculate? Get your info straight from the source!"

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

I left the price on to impress the neighbours!

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

wattle covers

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

Me when by BDD shows up

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Oh great,,, More protesters getting on our case about how the magazine industry creates 'unrealistic standards' for the human body,'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

"Hey, great ab!"

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'Do you have anything that reeks of power?'

"This will maintain your rebellious image in states with helmet laws."

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

"We need to think about raising your profile ..."

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

Hairstyles to hide big ears

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you - does this suit make me look fat?"

'Sorry I had the liposuction machine on blow instead of suck.'

Man deciding which hat to wear

'Do these pants make my butte look big?'

"I reckon he's compensating for something."