Illusionist Of Canine Tricks T-Shirts

"It's not that you ate the sirloin tips. It's the lying."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

'Isn't it cute how Roscoe dances around when I come home?'

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Dogs texting each other emojis

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

He Did It!

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth

Select a song: Another Dog Barking. Lots of Other Dogs Barking. Howling. Siren. Doorbell. Dog Karaoke.

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

How to scare cats.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'