Illusionist Of Canine Tricks Pillows

"It's not that you ate the sirloin tips. It's the lying."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Pssst. Fake poop."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Now turn your head and bark."

'Isn't it cute how Roscoe dances around when I come home?'

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

Dogs texting each other emojis

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth

He Did It!

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

How to scare cats.

"Gas was passed, you get the blame, that's the system."