Illness Prevention Gifts

Cold and Flu Medication.

"Listen, you're perfectly safe - it's only a slight cold."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

"This feels so familiar."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

What the Doctor Ordered

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Your contents have shifted."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'