Illness Evaders Gifts

"Hypochondriac's Handbook. Where was I?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"This feels so familiar."

"Cool bonfire app, man."

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"First day out of bed?"

'By 'fight the good fight' I don't mean you fight against it.'

The Sunrise of Vaccines

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Stay apart & stay happy

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

Return Of The Flu.

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

Covid Race

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

Life and Death.

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

'Very well, instead of the bible I'll read you Harry Potter but I am still standing behind the lectern.'