Idle Scroller Pillows

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

'I'm all for this interactivity.'

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

Are you going to read a book the whole time? That's so rude!

'You're not interrupting anything...the four of us are just sitting around before dinner...Barbara, me and our two phones.'

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

"If I admit I'm bored with looking at my phone every minute of the day, will I be considered a traitor by my generation?"

Using an electric toothbrush to stir tea

"I was admitted to heaven, but they didn't have WIFI."

Couch potato's shirt, "It suits you!"

"Can Ethan come out to swipe and scroll?"

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

Human evolution

Over-qualified?

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'This is your last wish. Are you sure you want to use it to change channel again?'

'We're seeing more of this in the touch-pad era: your fingertips need a retread.'

The World Will Overheat and End Next Week: Like, will it be on You Tube?

"I’ve finally caught up on all the reels you’ve sent me."

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

"So...what have you been doing for your last week of summer break?"

Idlewild.

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

'Actually on a molecular level, I'm quite active.'

"Mindlessly scrolling through social media hasn't solved any of my problems."

Virtual priority

Learn How To Ignore Positive Thoughts Keep Scrolling.

"Your faucet is running."

Dark Mode

"Everyone's life looks like a spring break montage, whereas mine feels like a sad court hearing."

He remains absolutely motionless on the job! That's how he claims to be a "steady" worker.