Idiom Fans Pillows

"My feet were killing me."

So much for social distancing

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Nuts to you, too."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Sauce for the Goose

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

The devil you know and his plus one

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

Another day in the Splenda mines

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

Uh, oh, the cows come home!

"They're home...the party's over!"

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

Management Reshuffle

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'