Hymn Handyman Gifts

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

Jack of all trades

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

I did it my way.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Now it fits.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Lovely dovetail."