Handyman Gifts

"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."

Man Lifting Heavy Block

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Extra parts to confuse people.

Use the right tool for the right job. (Hammer? Wrench? - It's all good.)

'See! I told you the roof needed repairing.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

Man covered in nails returning his nail gun to the store.

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I found the termites!'

Many hardware stores now provide sketch artists to help their customers recall the part they need.

Hammer Drill

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'John? You know that simple little plumbing repair job you've kept meaning to tackle. . .'

DIY store / Get someone else to do it for you Store.

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'The good news is, you haven't lost water pressure.'

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

'Let's watch 'Remember the Tightens!'' 'No! I want to watch 'I Love Loosey!''

'May I make a suggestion?'

"What else did you fix today?"

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

DIY Disaster.

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

Father-in-law - Break glass in case of emergency

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"No, I'm not Swiss. Just a bad accident."