Handyman Humorist Gifts

Goofy builder.

Tools

"I've spent 6 hours trying to put this wine rack together. Maybe Ikea is Swedish for 'some part missing.'"

Single contractor in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your tool chest.

Cat sharpening claws on grindstone

"I did replace it...with another broken light bulb!"

"You mounted the mirror upside down, Harold!"

Drain cleaning

Plumber

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"Yeah, and it's a poor craftsman that blames his tools."

'Tony's obsession with DIY had started to go to his head'

Woodworm surrenders with a white flag, as man treats floorboards with woodworm killer.

F&E Carpentry Supplies Mfg. All of these are off by several degrees. How could we be wrong on so many levels?!

I went after a nail that turned out to be friends with a nail gun.

Remember, when one door closes, another door opens, so don't forget to fix that @#$% latch, too. RJ & Son Locksmiths.

Jack of all trades

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

I did it my way.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."