Funny Handyman Humorist Gifts

"Gimme 600 rolls of sticky tape."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

AA Meeting Here Today

'Now it fits.'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

Dummies for Dummies.

'No it's still not fixed'

"You mounted the mirror upside down, Harold!"

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

How to Build a Bungalow

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Don't worry, she's going to hold the nails.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

We're with the gutter cleaning service ….

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

Carpenter

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"