Handyman Activities Gifts

Will you please stop yelling "nailed it" every time you hammer something!

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'This spring fix-up special also comes with a toll free ‘What-The-Hell-Was-I-Thinking-Of' Help Hotline.'

Jack of all trades

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

'I found the termites!'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

I did it my way.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'Now it fits.'

"Lovely dovetail."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'