Hygiene Practices Gifts

To stop the spread of the virus. . . Remember not to touch your face.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Think of it as a big puddle."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

The Cougher

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

The Brothers Grime

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

Loofah Lady

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Humans are strange."

Hand sanitizer

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

New Twenty Blades

You have the worst spring breath.

"No Hand Sanitiser"

Shaving

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

Wash your hands

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'